I’ve been on Facebook for over 6 years. Never once have I disclosed my relationship status or changed it from “single” to “in a relationship” (with the little hearts ) LOL! Does that mean I haven’t been in a relationship? Nope! It means I value my privacy. I’ve seen too many people putting pictures up of new loves and changing statuses only to have to pull it/them down a few weeks or months later and I’ve watched them do it more than once. Never a good look! My advice, don’t change a damn thing until you know, that you know, that you know, they are the one! Meaning you have proposed and they said “yes” or you have a ring on it. My two cents.

Now let me admit, I have loved and lost in the past 6 years (a little more recent than that) and there’s a story about one in particular which I must share because it’s so earth shattering, interesting, off kilter and sad. It ended so abruptly I didn’t have the chance to breathe, much less speak. I mean one day we were together(literally) and the next day not! I was shoved out of a 40 story window with no safety net and hit the ground hard! Pieces of my heart splattered all over the ground. He didn’t even look back to see if I was breathing. Damn! Talk about a bruised ego and a humbling experience! Until that happened, I was convinced we had something special. That proved untrue.

I know it looks like I’m invincible and everything is wonderful in my love life but let me be the first to tell you, I’ve had my heart broken to pieces just like most of you have, and I’ve been told “good-bye” when I wasn’t ready to say good-bye and yes, I’ve been the girl calling someone who didn’t call me back or respond when I desperately needed an answer and to hear his voice. And I’ve been the woman who has cried herself to sleep and the woman who couldn’t sleep at all. That, my friends, is the worst feeling in the world!

But I have also known love. I’ve been loved so deeply that he and I felt like we were intertwined on every level, we overflowed with love, passion and chemistry~ the kind you read about in books. The kind where the rest of the world disappears when you are together, for years I had the chance to know that kind of love. It was surreal. And over the years since, I’ve been blessed to have people care for and love me in ways people only dream of. But yes, I have loved and lost, made terrible decisions in relationships and have opened my heart to those who didn’t deserve it and who couldn’t appreciate what I gave or who I was. I know this love thing intimately and speak on it with experience.

The good news is, there is life after heart-break. The sun still rises and sets and each new day brings new relief. The better news is, after a while the heart does heal and the mind eventually allows any memory of that person to fade. And the best news is~ eventually love finds us again and suddenly none of what happened in the past matters. I’ve been blessed like that. At the end of the day, no one is exempt from pain. It’s life. The ebb and flow of love and relationships won’t ever change. Its all a miracle of sorts the way we come together, some last, some don’t but all of the experiences help shape us.The truth is we cannot fully appreciate the power and beauty of loving and being loved until we suffer the experience of someone who didn’t love us. Only then can we mature enough to appreciate real love and care the second time around.

So no, I don’t update my status at all and one would never know if I am “in a relationship” until I am sure I am in a relationship with a shiny ring on my finger and a commitment in tow. And honestly it’s pointless to do so unless you don’t mind explaining why your “status” keeps changing and what happened to John, and T.J. and Jerry and William who all looked so nice and sounded so promising. Uhm no!