An Open Letter to the Ft. Valley State University Lieutenant who Thrust My Freshman College Student Grand-daughter into the #MeToo Movement: Time is Up

By Rhonda E. Frost

Dear Lieutenant B., (the lawyers have your full name, as does the Georgia Bureau of Investigation so I won’t put it here).

Whatever the culture is at Fort Valley State University (FVSU) for men(young and old) sexually harassing and sexually assaulting women, or whatever other perversions you have going on, #timesup. The cat is out of the bag.

I spoke to my grand-daughter (…) some weeks ago. She called me from her dorm at FVSU.  She spoke with me on this particular day to share some things that happened to her there at school; some things that she was troubled by and felt she needed to tell me about. She had already spoken to her mom Shanae, but she wanted to share it with me as well. My grand-daughter also sent me 4 or 5 audio clips of conversations that she needed me to hear. They were conversations between you and her. I listened to every single one of them. The more I listened, the more enraged and disgusted I became! We talked at great lengths about you, your position of power, what you admitted to about previous interactions with young women, and, we talked about how she felt.

My daughter Shanae talks about it more in detail here, in this FB video post.

I was in shock hearing the things you wanted to do to her 18-year-old-body, and stunned at the quid pro quo language used; not to mention the overt manner in which you attempted to accost her and have her sign on to your sexual relationship plan. You are there on campus to “protect and serve” the young people, not to violate them. The fact that you encouraged her to keep it “secret”, said so much. It sounded child-molester-ish. It also sounded like you knew that what you were doing was wrong.

Because of your actions, she has been thrust into the #MeToo movement, without even trying or knowing. And guess what? Your secrets aren’t safe. They won’t be tucked away and managed quietly. You picked the wrong time in history and the wrong college student.

I could only imagine what this had to be like for her, facing a grown ass man (someone my age, 50-ish); I can only imagine what she felt and thought while hearing your pornographic comments. She’s an 18-year-old college freshman and you are a campus law enforcement supervisor! Talk about an imbalance of power!

Here’s a little backstory for you, on my granddaughter and I~

“She” is my first-born grandchild. She’s my baby. I’ve been there her whole life. I’ve watched over her, as grandma’s do, from a distance and up close. I attended almost every track meet she participated in throughout high-school. I’ve attended her plays, award ceremonies, and birthday parties; and I watched her grow up. I was at her high-school graduation and drove to FVSU with my daughter Shanae, to take her to her dorm. What that means is, we are close. And what that means for you is, I/we will be relentless in this situation against you. This was not supposed to be part of her college experience!

What the f*ck were you thinking?

Perhaps you got hyped after watching 70-year-old Bob Johnson wed his 37-year-old grad student. Or maybe you got all in your feelings about 45-year-old Idris Elba proposing to his 29-year-old girlfriend and you started thinking, maybe you too could get a young girl. Your perverted sexual mind and pathetic real life, just led you astray-with your country ignorant ass! You should have asked somebody or used your police “background check” technology to check us out first. We are your worst nightmare.

I bet you didn’t even consider that she would tell her family. I bet you were so excited at the prospect of sleeping with her, that you didn’t envision this day. I would also bet you are a repeat offender. After all, you are a law enforcement officer on a college campus filled with young, vulnerable black women.

It matters not what your thoughts were when you decided my grand-daughter would be the next victim; your latest toy. But your failure to think with the head that’s in your skull, rather than the head of your penis, has put you in the limelight and front and center in the Shanae Hall and Rhonda Frost family. And the show has only just begun. You are about to be famous. If you would have taken your penis out of your ass, and actually took a few moments to check out her family as much as you were checking out her young body parts, you would have known who we were, and you would have gleaned that “she” comes from a family of advocates for women’s rights, and social justice fighters. You would have known that she comes from a long line of strong black women, who don’t mince words, who are intelligent, media personalities and writers; and you would have known that we will come for you.

Bet you know now. Hindsight is f*cking 20/20!

But I digress…

Did you really believe you would have a “sexual relationship” with our 18-year-old baby girl? Did you believe we would allow it? She’s a freshman in college and you are my age! How sick is that? If no one told you yet, I will…you failed in the due diligence department. You failed in the think it through department. You failed in covering your tracks. You probably aren’t very good at your job of policing either; you probably don’t write well and couldn’t chase down a suspect if you had to. Just not smart at all. Had you been smart, I wouldn’t be writing this blog, my grand-daughter wouldn’t have audio clips of your sex-laden proposals and other stories to tell about your visit to her dorm, and you wouldn’t have put yourself out there, with this freshman girl.

But alas, most perverts don’t think things through or weigh the risks accurately. No worries though, something tells me that you will have plenty of time to think things through in the near future.

By the way, I read the FVSU sexual assault policy and found it almost humorous, especially that part about “notifying campus police in the event of an alleged on-campus sexual assault…and all members of the university community are directed to immediately notify campus police and file an official report”. Quick question for you and the school administration, “who do the students tell when the perpetrator is the police?”

I also read FVSU student conduct handbook. I like that you aim to hold students accountable for bad behavior. And I read parts of the online employee handbook and I note page 9, and 10 as well as page 59 and 60 in particular, in that employee handbook and that part about “zero tolerance for sexual harassment” and that section on “amorous relationships with students”. I am sure FVSU wrote these rules to be followed. I am sure the school had good intentions when these policies and procedures were drafted. The words certainly sound clear and dramatic.

But alas, men and their dicks.

What I’ve come to know is that men, with their need for sex and power, and their seemingly insatiable lust, will violate rules, risk freedom, and take chances that will ruin not only their careers, but their marriages, and the lives of women, just to get some “ass” (aka sex); and to catch their next prey. It’s a proven historical fact.

I’ve seen all this before. As an attractive woman, who was also a fully developed girl at Nya’s age, I too have been the victim of inappropriate touching, inappropriate comments and sexual advances by men of all ages, that started when I was a girl, and has continued all throughout my adult life. My employment life was no different. Too many women have that story. I know sexual harassment and perverts all too well. It’s men just like you, who are in all of our stories.

So here we are.

And just to put you on notice: Before you and your comrades get too slick, I want to let you know that I am a prior law enforcement officer with California Department of Corrections. I started as a Correctional Officer and worked my way up to Correctional Captain, Chief of Background Investigations. I understand law enforcement roles and boundaries. I understand the culture and “blue(or green) walls of silence”. I understand false reporting and abuses of power more than most. So we will be watching how your agency handles it.

I am also a “woke” black woman.  I am in tuned to the world. I see how Black bodies are treated. I am aware that black women subjected to sexual violence and even death, are too often, invisible. I see how injustices are carried out on Black bodies with little to no accountability. Trust me, this case will be different. I assure you it will.

Your words and actions, reek of perversion. I can’t help but wonder how many other young women have been subject to your sexual advances over the years at FVSU and in your personal life. How many other young impressionable women have you dangled the “I will satisfy you sexually, get your hair done, nails done and take you places” carrot, who actually took the bait? This isn’t your first rodeo. Predators don’t start at this late stage of life. I would be surprised if you aren’t another unhappily married pig with a long list of victims.

Unfortunately for you, this is a time in American history where women no longer have to hide, or live in fear of speaking up about sexual harassment, abuse, or molestation, out of intimidation or threat. You picked the wrong 18-year-old, wrong family and wrong era.

Too bad for you and FVSU, between my daughter and I, we have over 30,000 social media followers. Add to that, we have experience working with the media, writing and video making skills and we have “A” list connections. Clearly, you mistook my grand-daughter for a young needy, broken, black child without a strong family behind her, or you simply let your penis and deranged sexual mind, do the thinking for you, it was a terrible lapse in judgment on your part. Next time, you will think before you act.

Let this serve as a reminder to all men who think with their penis instead of their brains. You might want to count to 1000, list all of the possible ramifications of your actions, then ask yourself if it’s worth it. But anyway, it just got real! Shame on you! And shame on FVSU!  The chickens have come home to roost.





Advertisements

Thoughts on Life-Headed Into 2018: Each New Year Gives Us a New Opportunity to Eat the Cake and Be Present

When I was 20 and 30 I never imagined I would grow old(er). I was too busy with my life to have such concerns. I was young, sexy and fly; I was a career woman and a mother of 4 children; I was a wife, a student, a reader, party girl, and a troubled soul. I was on my journey. I was busy doing me. Who has time for such worries at that age?

When we are in college, starting careers, dealing with our relationships, and later our marriages, at the club, caught up in our drama, busy raising kids, and doing our thing, we never think we will grow old. Nor do we think anything will happen to us. We aren’t thinking retirement, illness or the impact of divorce. We just lived and had fun!

One of the things that 2017 gave me, was the chance to turn 54. I don’t feel like I’m 54, but it’s real. I’m a grown ass woman! I’m wondering where the years went, and what the future holds. Today, all of it’s on my mind(see above). Not in a bad way, but it’s on my mind.

That said, I’m grateful to be here and to be “holding up”, but make no mistake, time keeps ticking “into the future”, as the song says. Eventually, father time and mother nature win. In the meantime, I plan to seize my moments.

Know this: you will never be as young as you are right now. Enjoy each age that you are blessed to be. Each year, that you are blessed to see. Tomorrow is not promised.

Leave nothing on the table. Be present. Love hard. Dance like no-one is watching. Use the good China, and spray on the good perfume. Eat the cake! Wear the fancy dress and the expensive suit. Buy the “red bottoms” and wear them! Say what you need to say. Take the trip. Kiss the guy or girl (with consent of course). Play the music. Make the call! Wear the red matte lipstick! Love on your parents and family. Smile! And take the selfies! Capture the moments!

Remember Amanda Davis(the ATL news anchor) was at the airport the other day, headed to see her family and attend a funeral in another state, when she had a massive stroke at the airport, she later passed away at the hospital. Instantly! Just like that! Here one minute, gone the next. I’m struggling with that. She was 62!

Anyway…

Cherish your life, and love on the people who matter. Go into 2018 on fire and present! YOLO!

By Rhonda E. Frost

12/30/2017

I Won’t Complain… Not About My Life, the Traffic, the Weather, My Setbacks-or Nothing Else

I won’t complain. Not today. Not about anything. And certainly not before considering all the suffering around me. There are wives who have lost their brave Veteran husbands in an ambush in Niger.  These women woke up today forced to deal with the fact that they will be raising their babies without their spouse. There are people in Sierra Leone who’ve lost their family members in mudslides that buried their homes in the blink of an eye, and left the living in disbelief and despair.

There are families who recently lost loved ones at the hands of a domestic terrorist in Las Vegas, lives snatched from them by a man who decided to murder people as they simply enjoyed music, during a night out. There are hundreds of thousands of people without food, water, or medicine in Puerto Rico, and all over our world. These stories and images tear at my heart and render me unable to complain about my life.

Consider also, that there are people struggling and suffering everywhere, people with severe disabilities, cancer, sick parents and children and issues we can’t even wrap our brains around, and they keep getting up and keep finding a way to live on. This video sums it up and forces us to put things in perspective.

So no, today, I won’t complain. And I encourage you to follow suit. Before you open your mouth to talk about how bad your life is, or complain about the traffic, your boss, the neighbor, financial situations etc, just give a moment of silence to others who are hurting and in need of comfort and basic necessities.

Today, instead of my own pity party, I will list the things I am grateful for and meditate on those things, while sending out heartfelt prayers, love and peace to others.

No, I won’t complain, because comparatively speaking, all of my good days, outweigh my bad days, and nothing that is happening in my life even compares.